Schwarze Mädchentraube

‘’ Ten, oh, well, fifteen Big Mac menues, please ! ‘’
‘’ How many, now ? ‘’
‘’ One half with coke, the other with fanta ?‘’
Why me, Matushek thinks, why didn’t I reject this ‘’ supply ride ‘’ ?
‘’ How many, thirteen ? ‘’
‘’ Yes, to the exhibition hall 12, Miller. ‘’
‘’ Ok, chief, but it can take a while. ‘’
The burgers have been wrapped within 15 minutes, the queue ‘ why doesn’t it go on ? ‘ behind me slowly disappeared, now there was a young Croatian woman standing at the desk lost in her thoughts.
‘’ I’d like to have a receipt. ‘’
Just say something, Matushek thought, the woman said yes but she still din not move.
‘’ ... and a big bag. ‘’
‘’ Yes, but one half with coke, the other with fanta ? ‘’
That was the problem.
‘’ Make it seven coke and six fanta. ‘’
The rest took its normal course - Matushek was guided per handy - now through the gate, behind the stalls of vulcanizing machines turn left, 40 yards, turn right at the blue mobile walls, yes, there they were, ‘’ Miller’s Carcleaning Team, clean without brushes ‘’; he liked to be allowed to drive on a carpet and disappeared into the night afterwards.

‘’ They don’t sell it here. ‘’
Matushek had a ride again, the first four at South Field did not want to.
‘’ Why not ? ‘’
‘’ I don’t know, perhaps another wine ? ‘’
‘’ No ‘’
‘’ Mmh ‘’
‘’ No, two bottles of ‘ Schwarze Mädchentraube ‘, Jet at the cinemas has them. ‘’
‘’ I am there, and they do not have them. ‘’
‘’ No ? ‘’
‘’ No ‘’
‘’ But it’s important ! ‘’
Have mercy, Matushek thought.
‘’ What I am able to offer is two bottles of Bordeaux, for example. ‘’
‘’ Do they have a cork ? ‘’
‘’ Yes. ‘’
‘’ But I don’t have a cork-screw. ‘’
‘’ Just a moment. ‘’
Matushek asked the attendant.
‘’ Jet does not have wine with a screw-stopper. ‘’
‘’ ... ‘’
‘’ Okay, okay, I’ll drive to two or three more filling stations and call you back, then. ‘’
‘’ Thank you. ‘’
At the second, matushek struck gold, not only wine with a screw-stopper, no, even ‘ Schwarze Mädchentraube ‘ .
‘’ This one is sweet, and you will have a hangover. ‘’
‘’ Give me the receipt and keep the rest. ‘’
Matushek was nearly losing his head, the house really looked beautiful, a new building in good condition, but too many bells, it has to be an apartment building.
‘’ Good morning, two bottles of ‘ Schwarze Mädchentraube ‘, 32 Deutschmarks. ‘’
An old trick, last number two or seven is nearly always rounded up to five or even zero.
‘’ Here, the rest is tip, why don’t you do anything ? ‘’
A fifty Deutschmarks note, Matushek looks to his right, his left, his back, noone there, ahhh, she propably means the ‘ pluralis majestatis ‘.
‘’ Pardon ? ‘’
‘’ And if they all die of starvation now ? ‘’
Matushek expected the worst, looked at her again, nice, a little bit drunk, she had something, well, Slavian.
‘’ You are from Ex-Yugoslavia ? ‘’
‘’ Kosovo ‘’
‘’ No ‘’
‘’ Do you want some wine ? ‘’
‘’ No, perhaps a coffee. ‘’
Matushek does not like to be confronted with ‘’ radio problems ‘’ and especially concerning the Kosovo he is glad not to be a decision-maker, after the break up of Yugoslavia - Matushek has often been there, in Slovenia or Croatia - so much shit has happened, so much brutality and misery, that Matushek prefers to shut his door and to pet his cat.
‘’ Are you Albanian ? ‘’
‘’Croatian, but born in the Kosovo, my parents and brothers still live there, I hope.‘’
‘’ Yes. ‘’
‘’ Why don’t you do anything ? ‘’
Matushek understood, but was not able to answer, he is a pacifist, never using force, has been vegetarian for years, because of the slaughter and the keeping of the animals, wanted to become a conscientous objector, but there was the ‘ test of conscience ‘ at this time. Attending the first, he was certified that his conscience was a bit crazy, and that he therefore was the ideal man for the army. The second one was rather short, the colonel said:’’ We are of the opinion, that your reasons for objection are just used as an excuse. ‘’ Matushek said:’’ And you fat swine are able to judge it ? ‘’
Matushek was allowed to leave, signed on an alternative military service, was exempted and so wriggled out of it.
But concerning this conflict - why don’t you do anything ? - Matushek felt more like a cosmopolitan, not like a German, but should the international police of the ‘’ Way of Life ‘’ always do the dirty work, can Germany always keep itself out of this matter - especially the Balcan is problematical - doesn’t it have to show its true colours ?
If there was at least an UN mandate and the Russians would participate, but the Kosovo-Albanians, would it really help them ?
The coffee is ready, Matushek is drinking it with lots of milk, the woman is drinking her ‘ Schwarze Mädchentraube ‘. Matushek returns the 50 Deutschmarks note.
‘’ Try to give them a ring, perhaps they are ok, don’t drink too much. ‘’
‘’ Ok ‘’
‘’ Bye ‘’
Down the few stairs, Matushek is sitting in his car again, driving into the night.

© 1999 by ulrich prietz